Searching for an Escape

Excessive adrenaline rushes through me
Causing me to want to feel pain
Cutting once, then more and more
Until my composure I once again regain

Staring at it now I feel a release
My breathing starts to adjust
Sitting, thinking about all of the betrayal
Loved ones, ones I thought I could trust

Its weird, without the blood i`m not satisfied
Feeling like Ive failed to achieve my goal
I have a need to see the blood pour
In order to feel like I have freed my soul

So I go again, trying to gain freedom
This time going deeper until I see red
Cutting more and more, this time pushing harder
Not having a care about dying or being dead

Or what if I was found dead
Then they`d know I needed help
The same help they refused to provide
When I would sit and cream, cry and yelp

Now I see the aftermath and smile
Making me feel like a weirdo or a freak
Well at least that`s what other people see me as
Not realizing an escape is all that I truly seek

And ill continue seeking until I find it
Continue screaming until someone listens not just hears
Continue it all like I have done so much before
Continue like I have done for more than four years